Archive for the ‘Trust Me, I’m Your Talent Agent’ Category

Trust Me, I’m Your Talent Agent

November 12, 2010

Fatima Dahab, one of the most gorgeous women I have the good fortune to know.

Helen Goldwin, so beautiful, it nearly breaks my heart to look at her.

You might think a supermodel’s nights are filled with excitement:  celebrity-filled parties and dancing in nightclubs until dawn.

But my girls are headed back to their hotel after an early dinner.  I am a firm believer in beauty sleep, and I am adamant about a curfew.Maybe the girls wish they could stay out and party, but when they have to get up at five am, I know they are grateful they went to bed at a reasonable hour.Fatima is not a morning person at all–so she has told me.  I know what you’re thinking but I can assure you, I am only at my gallant best around these two women.But I’m no fool.  I know thousands of men would kill to wake up with these lovely faces.The shooting day gets underway.  The girls are posing for the yearly swimsuit issue of Sims Illustrated.  Helen chooses a peacock blue two-piece suit that flatters her entrancing blue eyes.Fatima selects a stunning black bikini that shows off her exotic skin tone.The shoot is supposed to be playful.  The girls are photographed engaged in a lively game of Magic Gnubb.Their looks of serious concentration accentuate their flawless features.But something goes terribly wrong and Fatima suffers a hard blow to her pretty head.Too late, Helen realizes her mistake.  She is quite shocked at what she has done.I should mention a couple of things at this point.  Firstly, Fatima and Helen are only as good of friends as you would expect two supermodels to be who are in constant competition with each other.Secondly, tensions are already running high on this particular shoot because one of these beautiful women–and only one–will make the cover of the magazine.Maybe that honor is worth fighting over.It did turn out to be a brutal brawl.In fact, it became a catfight of epic proportions.  Why no one from the crew steps in to stop it is puzzling.But I’m so grateful the calamitous quarrel went on and on and that the photographer captured the entire thing on film.Because I collected more cash selling those photos to the Sims Enquirer than any other deal I have ever made.  I’m sure the girls didn’t want to make the cover of that particular magazine.But I’m Sigismund Notorious, their talent agent.  I know what’s best.  Trust me.I have a tremendous responsibility to my clients to see to it they get as much exposure as possible.  My job is endlessly demanding.My day is crazy busy.  It usually starts and ends with meetings.  I have my morning dish with gossip columnist Dina Nieves.  She helps me keep the talent front and center in the public’s mind.Then there are all my meetings with the clients themselves.  You may recognize many of the famous athletes I represent.Also, you will know the names of all the film and television stars who look to me for guidance.I also set aside a portion of my day to audition wannabe protoges.  Many people leave my office with their dreams shattered.  But I don’t make any money off of schmucks with no potential so I have to be honest–often cruelly so.I’m not an easy man to please.  I’m a perfectionist with a desire to be surrounded by beauty and creativity.  Occasionally someone is hired to work for me who, quite frankly insults my aesthetic ideal.  Believe me, she’ll be fired by the end of the day.I work unbelieveably long hours and I am relentless about booking jobs and earning money.Sometimes my need to control every aspect of my life causes me some strife.  I have little tolerance for things breaking down, or employees slacking off and being impertinent.For instance, my long-time maintenance woman made a rather crass remark when she came to my office to repair the computers.  She said something about disgruntled workers committing sabatoge.I suppose she meant it as some sort of lame joke but I simply will not permit insubordination of any kind.  I dismissed her immediately.I am partcularly strict with my baby sisters.  When I get home, I grill them about their day.  I have to make sure they have done their homework and kept up with their exercise regimen.  I also want to be certain they are spending time with the right people, not losers.My evening soak is the best part of my routine.  The hot water and sultry steam wash away the grime and tension of a hard day’s work and is very pleasurable to me.  It is also one of the rare moments I get to be alone with my thoughts–mostly evil ones, I am a Notorious, after all.But this evening’s bath is ruined when the plumbing goes awry.  The spurting hiss of water mocks me and I almost regret getting rid of my repairwoman.  But I am fairly self-sufficient and I am able to tackle the problem and fix it.  Besides, I believe I do anything better than anyone else.No point in waiting for the maid to clean this mess up.I fired her before I left for work this morning.  The twit had the nerve to dust my sleek furniture…And move one of my tropical palms out of place.  I absolutely will not humor a lack of attention to detail.Here is something else I have no patience for:  geriatric public displays of affection!  My parents are lucky I take care of them in their old age and put up with their disgraceful behavior.You are probably thinking I suffered from a serious lack of love and attention when I was growing up.  Why else would I be so mean?But nothing could be farther from the truth.  My mother showered me with affection and slavishly bent to my every whim.

I just enjoy being a heartless, ruthless man.

Sigismund’s story will continue and I apologize for taking so long to get to this update.

I have some acknowledgements:

My thanks to Vacakmorgo for the beautiful supermodels. Their studio link:

Also, to BlueMurder for the exquisite patterns.  Their studio link:

Finally to IgZig, my faithful reader for gifting me the set that decorates Sigismund’s office and bedroom.