Archive for the ‘Junior Gets Spooked!’ Category

Junior Gets Spooked!

June 13, 2010

What a strange trip it has been.  One day I’m the Master Thief of Sunset Valley, the next day I’m wearing this outfit, living in this crazy place.

Actually, I’m not feeling too bad about my new life.  I had to split the scene with the Notorious Gang for awhile.  I was getting bored and when Junior gets bored, bad things happen.

One night I ran up behind Michelle Ursine and literally gave her the scare of her life.  She dropped dead of a heart attack.

Claire Ursine wasn’t digging that action.  She went straight to Baby and Xander and told them she was going to seek her revenge and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Pater was far away in Simmibea but he still got wind of my evil deed.  He had a plan for me.  I was to move to Twinbrook, “The Most Haunted Town In Simerica.”  I would take up the phony profession of ghost-hunting and when people let me into their homes, I would steal from them.

I said good-bye to Baby and the Crew and headed down South.

Once I got settled in, I went around and showed off my tools of the trade.  I had a bunch of weird equipment that Freya had invented in her science lab and I’m sure these things were no good for nothing.  But the folks around Twinbrook were a bunch of rubes and easy to impress.

I met this strange broad, Marigold Racket.  Her family had been around for about a hundred generations.  She was crazy but her neighbors respected her.  Marigold let everyone know I was a ghost-hunter for hire.

My first gig was at the Pidgin Mansion, down in the marshland.  It was real foggy and the house looked like it was falling apart, but when I got inside I saw the Pidgin gals were loaded.   All I had to do was mesmerize them with my freaky ghost guns and their sweet valuables were mine for the taking.

First, I stood in the middle of a room and started up my Ghost Scanner.  It was a weird gadget that sent off spirals of light and made a wah-wah-wah noise that was real loud.  I felt like an idiot but it was kind of cool and I could tell the dames were falling for it.

Next thing I know, the air starts to get freezing and sparkle and ripple.  Suddenly a ghost of a Native Simerican woman was standing in front of me.  I was shocked and the Pidgins started to scream.

The spirit faded away before I could do anything but another one appeared.  It was a Cave Person who looked like it was ready to kill me.  I whipped out the Banshee Banisher and pressed the button.  A laser shot out and the ghost was decimated.  I couldn’t believe it!

Dilly Pidgin was very grateful.   She promised to tell everyone about my special gift.  I was so stunned, I didn’t know what to say.  But I managed to grab a bunch of fancy loot before I stumbled out of the house.

It didn’t take long for the word to get out that I had some kind of supernatural talent.  Soon I was out every night until dawn, busting ghosts with my souped-up gizmos.  The ghosts I encountered the most were some scary dudes in armor wearing skirts. 

Marigold Racket did some research and discovered that the land that was now Twinbrook had once been overrun by Conquistadors in search of gold.  These nefarious travelers were often killed by the Native Simericans who were just trying to defend themselves from invaders.  I tried convincing these spooky aparitions to move on…

But they didn’t want anything to do with me so I banished them.  Sometimes they got away from me and jumped in the furniture.

They could try and possess anything they wanted but they were no match for me and the trusty spirit zapper.

I even had a ghost-containment device that I could capture them in.

The Science Lab had been trying to overcome the spooky problems in Twinbrook for a long time with no success.  So I took all the captive spirits and sold them to some very happy scientists who proceeded to do experiments on the ghosts.  The scientists wanted to examine my equipment as well, but I didn’t want to share all my secrets.

I couldn’t believe how much cash I was clearing.  I’d never made money from anything but stealing.  Finally I knew what it was like to get real paid from a legit job.  Well, I don’t how legit I was, I still didn’t know how all that phony equipment worked and I wasn’t sure I even believed in ghosts.

But it is kind of hard to argue the existence of spirits when you see a kid’s toy going beserk.

Speaking of toys, I helped myself to some great stuff.

I love the sensation of flying and I spend hours on my trampoline.

I also bought me a Beastly Simison.  I look great racing around town on my new chopper and people can hear me coming for miles.

My life isn’t all excitement.  Some days I’ve got to take care of the humdrum activities of day-to-day existence.

Getting all the ghost-goo off my uniforms is a daily chore.  It would be nice if I had some woman hanging around who would help me.

I gotta be honest, and I don’t want to sound like a jerk but the chicks around here are…eccentric.  So far I haven’t pursued anyone.

WT?????? Everything in this town is crazy!

But I like it here so I’m trying to get along.  Here I am participating in the neighborhood recycling program.

I thought about saving some of these newspapers.  They keep running articles about how I’m cleaning up all the ghosts.  I’d like to clip the articles out and send them back to Baby and the Crew.  But Grand is going to want to know about all the stuff I’m stealing.  The problem is, I can’t figure out how to unload my bounty.

I cased the local consignment shop because I thought it would be a righteous place to fence all my goods.  But it was nothing but bunch of old junk that didn’t look like it had much worth.

Sofia Carleton runs the joint.  She’s another weird babe and I didn’t like the way she was looking at me so I cleared out.

Most of Twinbrook was glad I was its newest resident, in spite of my kleptomania.  I don’t know how they didn’t put together me coming in the house and their possessions disappearing.  Maybe they thought the ghosts were doing all the stealing.  But one evening when I was out eating, a cute girl with a huge honker walked by me and laughed.

Cat:  Ghost-Hunter?  Yeah, right.

Later that night, I got an unexpected visitor and it wasn’t a ghost.  It was the girl with the big nose which I found kind of sexy.

Cat:  I know about your scam, Junior Notorious.  Twinbrook has room for one thief only, so beat it!

I wasn’t too concerned about her.  Everyone loved me, the mayor even gave me an award.  I looked out over the crowd and then I saw her.

It was the girl who broke into my house!  She had a cynical smirk on her face and I wanted to wipe it right off.  But instead I approached her and told her to meet me at the Esplanade so we could talk in private.

I was a little surprised that she showed.  She was full of confidence and I have to admit, I was very attracted to her.  I’m a sucker for bad girls.  But I was here to talk business.

Junior:  “You know my secret and I know yours.  So let’s work together and split the dough.  But you gotta tell me how you’re getting money for your loot.”

Cat:  “I don’t steal for money and neither do you.  We steal because it makes us feel good.  After awhile, I just send the stuff back to the people I stole it from.  You should try it, Junior, it will clear your conscience.”

What?  Give back what I took?  She was as nutty as all the other women in this town.  I couldn’t believe two evil people could even have this conversation.  I took off without another word.

I got home and I was emptying my pockets when I found a beautiful necklace.  I had lifted it from the girl when she wasn’t looking.  I put it in a box and placed it in the mailbox with a note:

“From Junior.  You better get used to me because I’m staying right here in Twinbrook.  See ya around.”

I’m still here.  If you hear something go bump in the night, or if your furniture is spinning and floating in the air, look me up.  But do yourself a favor and lock up the silver when you see me coming.