Archive for the ‘Goodbye To You’ Category

Goodbye To You

August 12, 2010

Xander and I found our life as elders to be quite peaceful.  Often we shared conversations about our past, and what the future held.  Our sons were very resourceful teenagers but we wanted to be sure they would be taken care of when we gone, so we started to discuss our sizable estate.Shortly after we had drawn up a will, Xander left this world.  We had been spending a pleasant day in the park, having a picnic and catching up on our chess.  Without any warning, Xander became a ghost.Death appeared and It looked exactly as I remembered from my dreams.  I was frightened but Xander was good-natured about the whole thing.  He waved goodbye to me, and willingly followed the dark, eerie figure.I had a difficult time breaking the sad news to our boys.  Handler was especially close to his father.  His grief was overwhelming.  I allowed him to stay home from school until he could pull himself together.Dodger was far more stoic than his older brother.  He  was sorry his father was gone.  But he continued to work diligently on his studies.  I was unsure what to do with myself without my beloved husband.  I sometimes wandered into the boys’ old nursery and idly played with their forgotten toys.  I continued to visit with Freya and Lorcus and Grand, and I even made a special trip to Twinbrook to see Junior.Handler and Dodger suggested I do something unique so I took a vacation to China, a place I had always wanted to see.  My old partner in crime, Sing Xhou, had returned to his homeland, and he welcomed me and showed me around.It was a magical place filled with history and new cultural experiences.  I particularly liked the authentic Chinese food and fishing for exotic Koi.Every morning before I set out to see more sights, I took the time to check up on my sons.  I was amazed at how independent they were,  and I got to thinking about how far they–and I–had come in this life.I thought of my dear old friend Pater Notorious with great fondness.  I was so lucky that he had spent so much time with me, teaching me valuable life lessons, and giving me excellent opportunities.I remembered all the heists and criminal antics I participated in with Grand and Junior.  We were often up to no good but we always had each other’s backs.The parties the Notorious Gang had were the best and they went on for days.  We were a very tight group and we had so much fun.My closest friend was Freya and I thought of all the encouragement she had provided me over our many years as confidantes.Her husband, Lorcus, was also a good friend, and over the years he had passed on much wisdom to me.  So many times he had put my mind at ease.The sweetest memories of my life were those of my husband.  I will never forget how my heart raced when Xander and I were first getting to know each other.Our love had grown so incredibly strong over these many years.  I learned I could depend on him and that he would take care of me no matter what.He wasn’t perfect by any means and we had our share of differences.
But truly, I could not have asked for a better husband.  He was an incredible father as well.I gratefully returned home to my boys but the loneliness I felt without my dear Xander was nearly unbearable.Maybe it was pure fantasy but one morning as I was about to get dressed, I had a vision of Xander.  It was his ghost but he spoke to me.Xander:  “Baby, you have led a long and prosperous life but we all must leave this world someday.  When you are ready to join me,  will be waiting for you.  Then we will be together for all eternity.”As Xander’s ghost evaporated into mist, I had a flashback to the night I had spent in Sunset Valley cemetary.  I recalled the many hours I had spent listening to the spectral beings talk of their lives and deaths.  They had promised me happiness and I realized that promised had been fulfilled.Baby:  “Xander, I am ready to join you.”

The transformation from mortality to immortality was surprisingly painless.  I felt my flesh tingling, and then it was if a great weight had lifted from me and I was as light as air.  I told my sons goodbye.  Slowly, I felt myself drifting skyward.  I could see Xander above, waving at me and with utter peace and fulfillment, I took his hand and was led to the Afterlife.